


Mistakes We Knew We Were Making

by cherry619



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Crying, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 04:33:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14394378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherry619/pseuds/cherry619
Summary: Dean has been behaving strangely around Seth and it takes a huge mistake for Seth to finally realize it.





	Mistakes We Knew We Were Making

**Author's Note:**

> So this was supposed to be a fill for a wrestlekink prompt and it kind of took on a life of it's own. This one features Seth and Dean a bit more sappy than normal but I tried to keep them as in character as possible. The prompt intrigued me and I really like how this one turned out. Let me know what you think!

The first time Seth notices something wrong is after his match with Kane on RAW. He and Dean are in the locker room backstage and Dean has been pacing like a caged animal, neck cracks and angry rumblings included. It’s not unlike Dean to be upset after a loss or after they get their ass handed to them and essentially after the match with Kane they experience both.

However, completely unlike Seth is how angry he is. Not necessarily for his loss but for what Kane did after the fact. He knows that Dean’s arm has been killing him since their match at TLC, so it has been his main priority to keep him out of as many conflicts as humanely possible.

 He’s feeling like a complete fuck up. The anger and guilt churning in his stomach is almost unbearable. He attempted to spare Dean anymore harm by crawling over top of him but that only led to Kane easily picking him up and giving him a tombstone piledriver as well. So, on top of a killer headache he’s feeling like a complete failure of a partner and a boyfriend.

Growling a little under his breath Seth leaps off the bench and smashes his fist into the blue lockers behind him.

He is seething with rage but he’s almost certain he seen Dean pause his normal routine and ministrations with a slight flinch before continuing again. It catches him off guard enough to allow the red haze of loathing change into concern before watching Dean pace back and forth has him angry again.

He’s shakes off the feeling and mutters “son of a bitch” under his breath before sitting down again.

 

* * *

 

The second time Seth notices something wrong is during the middle of the night. They are both exhausted beyond belief on the Abu Dhabi and Dubai tour. Wrestling day in and out swapping out different members of the shield like they were underwear, pleasing the fans and then getting bombarded on the way home until they collapsed on their beds.

It’s 2:23 AM, or at least that’s what the demon red lights of the clock tells him as he squints in agitation wondering what the fuck just woke him up. He rubs his face against his pillow again willing for sleep to overtake him but the same keening noise rings in his ears again.

“What the fuck...” Seth mutters under his breath before he’s leaning up on his right elbow and trying to allow his eyes to adjust to the blackness of the room.

The keening kicks up again this time only louder before Seth’s brain is catching up to the fact that Dean is sleeping right beside him, and the keening noise is coming from him.

Seth wants to smack himself silly for forgetting but he’s been so damn exhausted that his mind hasn’t been functioning at it’s normal level.

“Babe?” Seth whispers roughly, his voice belaying how tired he was. Dean continues keening in broken choked off noises that make Seth’s whole-body clench in sympathy. He knows the signs of Dean experiencing a nightmare. He and Roman went through enough of them together, as well as Seth going through it alone to recognize when Dean is caught in a bad one and as Dean’s form begins to thrash about on the bed Seth instantly leaps into action despite his drowsiness to grab ahold of Dean’s arms and situate himself over Dean’s legs so that the man doesn’t hurt himself in his throes of torment.

Soothing words spill from his lips without any real thought to what he was saying. His subconscious need to alleviate Dean’s fears and pains instantly taking over.

“Shhh...it’s okay babe it’s not real. Just come back to me, you’re okay.”

Seth’s heart breaks at hearing the noises turn into outright crying and pleading. Dean’s head thrashes from left to right and sweat begins to pool near his temples as he fights things Seth can’t even imagine or dream of. It fucking hurts. Hurts worse than any physical pain Seth has ever experienced, and it never gets any fucking easier seeing Dean reduced to this.

Seth takes a gamble on letting go of Dean’s left hand while still holding firm to his right so that he can grab Dean’s face, wanting to touch the man gently so that he awakened to something familiar and comfortable.

“Baby it’s okay. _It’s okay._ ” Seth said clearly, making shushing noises with his mouth and petting Dean’s wild hair down as he finally wound down from the throes of his nightmare.

“There...” Seth said gently releasing his hold on Dean’s right wrist and easing himself off of Dean’s body. He hovered closely by his face, holding his head in his lap and petting his hair softly. “You’re okay.”

Dean blinks open owlish eyes, tears leaking out from the sides. Seth brushes them away with his thumb, but he doesn’t miss the way Dean’s blue eyes widen in fear, or the way he gasps and his whole body seizes in his hold.

“Baby it’s me.” Seth says again, this time more firmly but Dean doesn’t seem to hear him. Instead his eyes are fixated on Seth’s face and his breathing quickens to the point where it feels like Dean might have a panic attack.

Panic attacks were rare for Dean, but he never, absolutely _never_ had one after Seth worked on calming him down. It begins to freak Seth out as well to the where he thinks _he’ll_ have a panic attack.

Feeling panic begin to vibrate in his lover’s body he grips him tighter and begins his mantra again. “You’re safe now...shhhhh.... nothing’s going to hurt you, I promise.”

It takes Dean a few seconds to snap out of his terror induced staring and for his breathing to slow down before Seth’s breathing finally matches. He glances up at the red lights again and notes that it is now 3:57 meaning Dean’s nightmare lasted over 30 minutes this time.

Seth worries his bottom lip and contemplates calling Roman to have him talk Dean down since his methods don’t seem to be working and Dean doesn’t seem that happy to be near Seth.

“You okay now babe?” Seth asks softly, trying to move out from underneath Dean but being stopped by Dean’s quick reflexes.

“Stay...please.” Dean asks softly, his voice even more raspier than normal. His eyes close slowly like he’s exhausted, and Seth hesitates on whether he should just cut his losses but with the way Dean melts into his lap and how his breathing begins to even out Seth just shrugs and sort of situates them until he’s laying down again with Dean right up against him.

 

* * *

 

Jason’s mouth has been annoying Seth all damn day.

He takes a huge swig of his coffee and wills away the headache that is starting to brew behind his temples. The stress of knowing that Dean is currently at home recovering after surgery and added with the stress of trying to keep the tag team titles around his waist in Dean’s memory as well as Jason’s loud mouth getting him into a shit load of trouble was seriously grinding on Seth’s nerves.

It was eating away at any last ounce of patience Seth possessed and he was one wrong word away from snapping entirely.

The foul mood continues on until late into the night when he’s eventually trudging home after having flown for an additional 3 hours to ensure he would get to see Dean at least for a day before heading off to work again.

He’s grumpy and snappy after having to play nice at an airport with fans at 2 AM and then having to deal with someone who had no idea of personal space on the plane so when he’s finally walking into his house which Dean has been occupying for a few weeks by himself he finally just lets the bomb detonate.

His bags hit the ground with a loud thunk as he takes in the mountain of clothes that are piled up by the bedroom, pizza boxes sitting open on the coffee table, the TV loudly blaring despite no one being in the living room. He breathes in deeply for a second before soundly marching through his house to his bedroom.

The TV in his bedroom is also turned on and blaring very loudly despite one Dean Ambrose conked out on top of the covers, a dirty plate settled next to his side and Kevin curled up under Dean’s arm.

Seth doesn’t even stop and notice the way Dean’s face looks sunken in, or how his arm is heavily wrapped up in a brace and bandages, a sling keeping it close to his body. He doesn’t take in the dark bags under his eyes or the way his breathing is off as if he’s in pain despite being in deep sleep.

Seth just lets loose a week’s worth of emotional highs and stress.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Seth screeches, flipping on the lights which causes both Dean and Kevin to immediately perk up from sleep. Once Kevin notices that Seth has returned home his little butt wiggles excitedly, yapping on the bed and dancing around Dean’s body whose slower to recover. Seth doesn’t even pay his dog any mind as he marches to the side of the bed.

“What the hell is all of this?” Seth screams, his arms dramatically extending and waving angrily in the air.

“Hello to you too.” Dean grumbles moodily, rubbing his face and pushing his hair to the side. He winces at the light and attempts to burrow down into the bed once more, but Seth isn’t buying it.

Without even meaning to Seth reaches out and grabs at Dean’s arm to haul him back up, wanting to give Dean another earful but Dean reacts almost automatically, jerking his arm back and cursing like a sailor.

“Fucking hell Rollins.”

That’s when Seth finally comes back to the present taking in the scene before him and realizing what he’s done.

Dean’s breathing deeply, hunched in on himself with his good arm tightly locked across the bad one. Sweat is beading across his brow and there’s a fine tremor going through his body. Even Kevin stops his excited dancing to take notice of the mood shift in the room.

Dread washes over Seth to the point of making him ill. He reaches out in an attempt to soothe but Dean jerks back as if he’s been burned causing him to flinch and curse again, clearly causing himself pain.

“No!” Dean grits out, his jaw clenched against the pain but that’s not what makes Seth run out of the room in horror. No, it’s the look in Dean’s blue eyes one he’s seen hundreds of times before.

The look of pure anguish and fear. The look Dean would have when he and Dean got into really bad fights when they were at war with one another. Seth reveled in being able to put that look on Dean’s face as his warped mind got corrupted by power and greed but now it just makes him physically ill.

“Oh god...” Seth is saying, rushing out of the room and into the adjoining bathroom.

His knees hit the tile painfully and there isn’t even time to lift the seat before he’s hurling everything into the cold porcelain. Tears stream down his face from the force of him heaving and partly from what he’s just witnessed.

He feels mortified and ashamed with himself. He felt like just melting onto the floor and never getting up again. He broke the one promise he made to Dean after their reconciliation. He promised never to hurt him again or let anyone else do so. Yet, he’s failed in both departments entirely. He was a shitty partner, shitty boyfriend, and even shittier friend. Dean’s obviously been going through a lot the past few months and everything began clicking into place.

The times where it seemed like Dean feared him, or felt nervous around him, or had horrible nightmares. It wasn’t because Dean was stressed and anxious it was because Seth was making him feel that way whether intentional or not.

Taking a moment to compose himself, Seth finally pulled away from the bowl and wiped a shaky hand across his face.

It felt like he was sitting on the floor for hours but it likely was only a few minutes before the sound of the flushing toilet had him jolting.

“Fuck...” Seth breathed shakily, drawing his eyes up to Dean who had somehow made it into the bathroom without him noticing or hearing.

“Didn’t mean to scare you.” Dean whispered, his eyes hidden by his hair. He looked a little bit steadier then what he was but still the sight of the big black brace and sling clashing with the white bandages was making Seth feels nauseous. How the fuck could he not have noticed them before his temper tantrum?

“I’d offer to help you up but...” Dean trailed off with a chuckle that sounded painfully fake.

Seth bolted right up off the floor, steadying himself before he was swallowing thickly. “I’m so, so, _so_ sorry.”

Dean grit his teeth and a flash of emotion danced across his eyes before being masked by cold indifference. “Sure, you are.”

“Dean...” Seth pleaded, reaching out to grab him again but Dean was already sliding out of his grasp and moving away from him.

“I don’t want to hear your bullshit, _Rollins_.”

The way Dean spit out his last name had him flinching harshly. He hasn’t heard that in such a long time it almost gave him whiplash. It reminded him of lonely nights and heartbreaking anger and rage that burned inside of him.

“Please...Dean...” Seth attempted again, following after him in desperation not wanting to let the man out of his sight.

Dean whirled around on him, not expecting to find Seth already hot on his heels, Seth watched in horror as Dean flinched back, tripping over the piles of clothes on the floor and falling backwards.

It was almost like it was happening in slow motion in Seth’s mind. There were so many things bouncing around in his mind but watching Dean get hurt again was _not_ happening on his watch again.

With quick reflexes Seth was reaching out to grab onto any part of Dean he could. In the long run they fell together in a tangle of limbs with Dean eventually falling on top of Seth.

Dean’s elbow dug right into Seth’s solar plexus which drove the air right out of his lungs. He grunted in pain as his head collided with the carpet. Stars exploded behind his eyes to the point where Dean’s image was slowly getting blurrier and blurrier until everything was black.

Kevin’s incessant barking was like buzzing in his ears as he tried to come back to the present. Things were so blurry, and it felt like the room was spinning wildly around him.

“Seth! Come on damn it....Seth!”

He felt his body being jiggled harshly and the voice yelling his name was loud and anxious. He could almost place the voice if he focused really hard.

Shapes and colors began to come back to him slowly until he could focus his eyesight on images.

“Seth, ya dumbass.... _please_.”

“Nota..dmbsss....” Seth slurred out flinging his arm out in agitation.

“Jesus fuck...”

Seth blinked a few more times to clear his vision and breathed in deeply, wincing as he did. “Ow...”

“You’re gonna kill me one of these days.”

“But I love you...I don’t want to kill you.” Seth whispered confused, his brows furrowing as his brain tried to connect the dots. He couldn’t understand why Dean was saying such things to him. He would fucking die for Dean if he had to. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt him.

“I know you do, ya fucking sap.” Dean breathed out shakily.

Seth finally realized that he was lying on the ground and Dean was hovering awkwardly above him. His memory started returning to him slowly as he took in the weird contraption on Dean’s arm and the fact that Kevin was nuzzling at his face.

He was at home and he just came back after a few weeks on the road. Dean just had surgery.

 _Dean just had surgery._ Seth’s heart dropped as his brain finally connected the dots as to why he was there and what happened. He attempted to sit up quickly, but dizziness overtook him.

“Whoa now!” Dean barked, his one good arm reaching out to steady him.

“You rung your bell pretty well just relax alright. I can’t be lifting you up right now if you go down.....relax.” Dean soothed in his gruff manor. The words were doing little good in calming Seth down in the slightest.

Images of him yelling at Dean and Dean reacting in fear plagued his mind making not only his head hurt but his fucking gut churn in guilt and horror. He doesn’t think he can live with the idea of Dean being afraid of him.

“I’m so fucking sorry.” Seth rushed to say, leaning so close to Dean he could smell his aftershave. Maybe it was the slight concussion or maybe he just had a leaky heart right now, but the dam had burst and there was no stopping it now.

“I love you so much...” Seth was grabbing Dean and pulling him in for a fierce hug, this time being mindful of his injury. “I don’t know what I would do without you.” He mumbled into Dean’s neck.

Dean froze for a second before cautiously accepting the hug. “You hurt me Seth, _again._ ”

Seth flinched but didn’t let go of his hug. “I’m never gonna forgive myself for that. I don’t want you to hate me...please...just...stay with me for one more night. I need you.”

Seth held on for dear life, almost expecting Dean to pull away angrily, spit in his face and leave but maybe it was due to his injury or maybe it was due to the fact Seth had a tight grip on him, but Dean just sighed deeply and said, “Okay.”

Seth swallowed and dared kiss Dean’s neck softly, enjoying having him so close and being intimate.

“Can we get off the floor though?” Dean finally asked, wrangling himself from Seth’s tight grip. When he pulled back his cheeks were flushed pink and Seth swore there was a hint of water in his eyes, but he quickly blinked them away.

“Of course!”

Seth nodded his head, his balance still off and managed to stumble to his feet which caused Dean’s eyes to widen in alarm attempting to try and join him but considering his entire right side was out of commission he was struggling to do so.

“Let me help you.” Seth said cautiously bending down with soft, gentle movements hoping not to spook Dean any further. He bit his tongue in anticipation as he watched Dean’s reaction. Dean wasn’t pulling away or snarling at him which was a plus.

Seth eased Dean into a standing position completely cataloguing every wince on his face, the tightness of his body, and how his breathing grew in rapid crescendo at the movement.

All tell tale signs of how much pain Dean was currently in and Seth the asshat came home and just added to it and somehow knocked himself out.

Fucking architect he was more like a fucking destroyer. The parallels between himself and HHH became glaring in that moment and it made him shiver despite still being fully clothed.

Taking note of Dean’s current state of dress which consisted of sleep plants and nothing else Seth made it his mission to steer him back to the bed where the blankets lay untouched.

“Alright here we go...” Seth whispered more for himself than for Dean as they both leaned on one another and made a slow shuffle back to the bed.

Seth reached across the bed and easily tossed the dirty plate on the floor not paying it any mind before he was pulling back the covers with gusto and trying to guide Dean back down to sitting.

A small sound of hurt escaped Dean’s mouth but the older man quickly snapped his jaw shut so that nothing else would possibly get out.

“You have every right to tell me to go fuck myself but I have to ask. Have you been taking your medication you were prescribed?”

Dean took a moment to breathe deeply in and out. Seth watched as a multitude of expressions splashed across his face ranging from anger, sadness, back to anger again before resignations set in.

“No.” Dean mumbled, his eyes hidden by his hair again as his head dipped down, obviously feeling ashamed.

“Hey, hey, hey...” Seth said softly gripping Dean’s chin gently and raising his head so that he could look into his eyes. “I’m not mad at you. I just want to help stop the hurt, okay?”

Seth smiled but Dean didn’t return the smile, his eyes seemed void of life right now and it broke Seth to the core, but he didn’t let that show on his face. He kept things neutral for Dean.

“Let’s get you in bed first, okay?” Seth was basically talking to himself at this point but if Dean got some modicum of comfort from it then Seth considered it a win.

Dean was pliant in his arms as he attempted to shift his legs up onto the bed and try and lay him back down gently without doing him anymore harm. Despite Seth’s gentle ministrations Dean still had a difficult time laying down straight. Pain was obviously wracking Dean’s entire right side to the point of anything touching it sending Dean into a spiral of misery.

Seth considered just calling 911 but knew that Dean would fight with everything in him not to go so he took a deep breath before continuing to make this train wreck he created better.

“How about I stack some pillows up will that help?”

Dean doesn’t offer a yes or no so Seth just goes ahead and grabs the pillows on his side of the bed and quickly stacks them next to each other so that he could lay Dean down against them. “Alright easy now.” Seth settles Dean against the pillows and breathes a little easier when it seems like Dean finally relaxes.

“There we go.” Seth coos, almost like he’s speaking to Kevin who is staring at the two of them on the other side of the bed with confusion. His hands move without him even thinking about it as they instantly go to Dean’s face and cups his cheek softly, rubbing light circles on his cheekbone.

A small sense of reward goes through him when Dean doesn’t flinch but instead _leans_ into the touch. “That’s it...just relax for me.” Seth swears he could stay like this forever, but he knows he’s close to the point of passing out from sheer exhaustion and an obvious knock to the head, so he continues until he’s ready to give in.

With regret Seth pulls away so that he can scour the kitchen for any pain medication pills. Dean’s eyes snap open in alarm when Seth’s moves away and he’s whimpering at the loss of contact making Seth’s heart tear into two.

“Hey...no...shhhhhh...I’ll be right back, _I promise._ ” Seth soothes gently, grabbing Dean’s outreached hand and squeezing it lightly before setting it back down on the bed.

“I’ll be right back.” Seth assures again as he backs up, not breaking eye contact with Dean until he’s out of the room.

Briskly walking to the kitchen Seth shakes his head of the dizziness that’s beginning to overcome him again and leans on the counter to take one second to breathe. His arms shake, and his heart is beating wildly in his chest at all that transpired that night.

With a lazy slide of his eyes he lifts his head up and scans the kitchen counters for any pill bottles. His eyes finally settle on a pharmacy bag that was deposited next to an old bottle of Dr. Pepper and keys splayed haphazardly on the counter. Seth’s mind is finally beginning to get a clear picture of why the house is a mess and Dean is an absolute wreck. For as much as Seth felt lonely and isolated, Dean was likely feeling ten times worse. With no one in Iowa for Dean to even lean on and all his friend’s miles away wrestling Dean had to basically take care of himself, which he doesn’t do at the best of times let alone dealing with a very serious injury.

Seth finally pushed away from the counter and withdrew a glass from the cabinet to fill it with cold water. He snatched the pharmacy bag and made his way back to the bedroom.

Dean was still sitting in the same spot that Seth had left him in, but his head was bent down to his chest. Fear spiked through Seth. “Dean!” Seth shouted, skidding next to his side and setting the glass of water and bag down before grabbing Dean’s face and pushing it up again.

Confused, blue eyes, glazed over from pain and exhaustion dazed back at him and Seth breathed a smile sigh of relief. “Jesus...you scared me.” Seth closed his own eyes and breathed inward before letting go of Dean’s face. His head went from laying on his chest to lazily laying against the pillows staring at the ceiling.

“Shit,” Seth muttered to himself as he quickly turned the knob down on his lights so that they weren’t so bright. He didn’t even think to do that yet.

Wrestling open the package Seth swiftly read the instructions before taking out two pills. Bringing the drink to Dean’s lips, Seth tried to steady his head which felt like dead weight as he attempted to sip the cool liquid. Despite his best efforts water slipped down Dean’s mouth and got all over his chest but Seth wasn’t really focused on that he wanted to ensure Dean finally took his medication so that he could possibly feel a little bit better.

“Alright, now take these.” Seth pressed two pills close to Dean’s mouth which he took with a quick swallow.

Being able to manhandle and control Dean like this was absolutely scary but also gave Seth a sense of intense pride. Dean didn’t let just anyone see him at his most vulnerable and Seth didn’t take that lightly. It was hard for Dean to trust others and giving Seth this huge responsibility was a sign that things weren’t over for them.

Finally heaving a huge sigh of relief that he had accomplished his goal Seth was feeling drowsy beyond belief. “I’m going to get in bed with you, is that okay?”

He didn’t think Dean would answer but he figured he’d ask anyway. If Dean wanted him to go in the guest room he’d do it with a heavy heart, if that was what he wanted.

However, Dean shocked him by nodding his head softly to the question. Seth smiled in return his chest finally loosening up a bit as he crawled over Dean and burrowed under the covers himself still completely dressed. He didn’t even notice Kevin who was sleeping atop his pillow as he made his way to Dean’s side. He was hesitant to touch the older man not wanting to cause him any pain or discomfort.

“It’s okay.” Dean whispered softly.

Seth took that as his invitation and slowly wound his arms around Dean’s torso. He was as gentle as possible, but he was desperate to be touching Dean in some capacity after tonight.

“I just want you to be okay.” Seth admitted softly, his hands tracing patterns on Dean’s smooth stomach.

“You break me down....” Dean stated making Seth clench his jaw against the hurt sound that wanted to escape.

“But you always make me whole again.”

“Dean...” Seth whispered but was cut off by Dean shushing him this time. He grabbed his hands that were busy drawing lines and shapes into Dean’s skin and stilled their frantic energy.

Seth paused not wanting to see Dean’s face in fear of rejection he felt his palms start to sweat as nerves crept up his throat threatening to choke him.

“I love you so fucking much.”

Seth let out the loudest sigh of relief as his stomach unwound and his hands unclenched. He squeezed his eyes shut against the tears that threatened to escape at the admission. “I love you too, _so_ much. I’ve never loved something or someone as much as I love you it’s fucking insane. I’d kill myself ten times over if it was to make sure you’re happy and healthy. It’s all I want.”

“Shhh....” Dean shushed his verbal admission noting the way his voice was rising in crescendo and he was getting himself worked up. This time it was Dean rubbing his arms, soothing his anxieties and worries.

They always had a way of falling back together again and realigning each other when they felt broken down. It was something Seth had never experienced before but he couldn’t live without. Dean was like a drug that Seth _needed_ to survive. The thought of losing that was devastating.

Sleep, stress and the throbbing in his head was finally pulling him under. He felt his eyes grow heavy and he struggled to keep them open because he wanted to really make sure Dean was okay and he couldn’t really tell from this position considering how much Dean was sitting up and Seth was basically smashed against his side.

However, the feeling of Dean’s ribcage expanding in even breaths and the way his muscles were loose underneath Seth’s palms as they lay against his warm stomach told Seth everything he needed to know without even looking. Seth could easily read Dean despite there sometimes not being any words or pictures to read.

Before he completely passed out all together Seth gave Dean’s side a soft kiss, running his palm down Dean’s side. “Don’t ever leave me.” He breathed out before his eyes finally closed in slumber.


End file.
